Meet Your Fear Monster: Name and Tame What Scares You
Naming and Taming Fear
As I talk with people about their wild ideas, fear comes up a lot.
Whether they’re just beginning to dare to say them in their heads. Or out loud anywhere other than in the middle of the night, alone. Or whether they’re midstream in bringing their idea to life and looking to dream them further. And even when they’re a serial wild dreamer, as they embark on the next one.
So, I’m going to talk about it a lot. I don’t think fear ever goes away when you’re dreaming something into being. And it probably shouldn’t, honestly. Because when we’re riding that edge of infinity, testing our boundaries and our balance, it’s a part of the package.
So, how do you manage it?
Meet Your Fear Monster
There’s an old belief in many cultures: if you can name someone or something, you have power over it.
So we’re going to name this puppy. This scary fear monster beast that can shut you down. Convince you that your idea is stupid. Or impractical. Or pointless. Or far beyond you. Or whatever it might say to you.
Maybe it’s a little creature that lives under your bed and bites your toes if you put them on the floor. There was one of those in my room when I was a kid…I attribute my abilities at grand jetés in dance class to nightly leaps from my door to my bed. I was successful, by the way, because I never got bitten.
Or maybe it’s a creature that lives in your belly and grinds away at your innards. It could be something that you’ve seen just out of the corner of your eye when you’ve gotten inspired. That has little sharp pins as fingers, ready to poke that balloon as it starts to float…
We’re going to name it, and meet it, and draw it. Look it in the eyes and dare it to come out.
Are you ready?
Because if you are, it’s a grand first step to figuring out how to tame it.
The Gift of Fear
Okay, well, the gift is a free download – a guided exercise on how you can meet your fear monster and name and tame it.
MEET YOUR MONSTER
And please, tell us about it in the comments! I love other people’s monsters. They can teach us a lot about our own…
This is a big deal for me to put this in the comments – but maybe it’ll help everyone else.
The girl who looks like she has her $#!+ together, with Instagram hashtags and pictures of the SoCal beach, has a monster.
His name is “Self-Doubt” and he’s been following me around since Junior High.
If we’re really giving him a name, I’ll call him Zweifel (doubt, in German).
He’s one of those big, clumsy, stinky, monsters that scratches in obscene places and plunks down on the couch with a cheap paper plate of greasy nachos and a beer.
He has bad breath and a wheezy way of breathing.
And he tells me I’m not as good at things as I think I am.
He says “change management isn’t a thing – you know that right?”
He says “you’re not really a project manager, you’re just pretending – and they’re gonna find out” in a sing-songy voice.
He says “why did you think moving all the way to California, ALONE, was a good idea?”
He says “that guy might like you but he doesn’t LOVE you”
Lately Zweifel says “if you hadn’t quit that one job, if you hadn’t gotten a divorced…”
My goodness….woulda, coulda, shoulda, Zweifel. Shut your trap and get off my couch.
It’s hard to write about. It’s easier to look up at The Universe and say “there’s a lesson here, right?” Be all enlightened like I think I can change my perspective with a snap of my finger.
Getting fired is a lesson. Moving by yourself is a lesson. Wondering what the F you’re doing all the way out here, when your friends and family are somewhere else is a lesson.
And Zweifel says “Gurrrrl, you stupid – why you want to learn any lessons – go home, give in, here’s a towel – throw it”.
But I don’t.
Oh, Keri, bravo and thank you! And Zweifel, go lay down by your dish!! xoxoxoxo
Love how the support tool — walks the user through the process! Well done!